Friday, June 29, 2012

Singled out : how singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after by Bella DePaulo

Herewith, my un-review of this book. More a stream-of-consciousness-ramble of what the book made me think…

I’m single. I’m happy. I don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t want to share a house with another person – in any way, shape or form. I don’t want children of my own.

There you go. My cards on the table before I get into discussing the book.

First up – it is thought-provoking. Seriously. Yeah, I know that gets said a lot in reviews (I say it a lot). But I do mean it. Have I ever been discriminated against, because I’m single? Has there been inherent ‘singlism’ in anything said to me?

Do I fit any of the myths about singles? Or, do the myths fit me?

Am I really content and happy with my life, or am I just fooling myself? Am I really just miserable, and faking it, so well I can’t tell the truth? Am I worried about being lonely for the rest of my life?

So, I asked myself these – and more – questions while I read through. I pondered the implications. I searched my soul.

And, you know what, I’m going live happily ever after. I may be alone, but I’m not lonely. I do not, and will not, have a partner and children. But, I have great family and friends. I have connections and people in my life that matter. And I matter to them. People will notice if I don’t turn up somewhere – I won’t be one of those stories, where single, lonely woman is found days/weeks/months/years later dead, eaten by her cat. People will mourn my death, and absence in their lives.

Anyway, for other singles out there – read this. Reaffirm your beliefs in yourself and your feelings. Don’t feel pressured to become coupled, if that’s not what you want. Do not give in to the tyranny of ‘matrimania’ that society inculcates. Be strong. And be yourself.

There really isn’t anything out there like this… a lot of titles that purport to be about being single, and happy – are really matrimania manuals in disguise. Beware!

The best I can do (apologies to Brilla, for breaking to rules) is offer a link to the author’s website, which has other things to read… 

~ Thalia.

1 comment:

  1. This is awesome, Thalia, and so are you! What fun to discover this site.